Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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