I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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