wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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