she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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