Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
