I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
