Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
