I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize