Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
