Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
