It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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