The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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