Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I am available for nakedness
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize