i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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