that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
