shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish you could order shots online.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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