a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I forget how to act sober
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
