I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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