i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
