Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
