Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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