Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
