I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
