So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
