So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
