There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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