You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
