is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
