i just had sex bonerless
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
