hell yes lets make some ravioli
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
