He uses pillows to masturbate.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
