I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
