brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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