so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
