we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
