I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
