Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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