Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This is my gift to your gina
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize