:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
