I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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