I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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