i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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