I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
