Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
