Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize