return my video game
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
