The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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