Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
there's paper in my vomit.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
