sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
