so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
