Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
