I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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