i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
