Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
