i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
