how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
