we have officially lost it.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
