Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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