I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize