the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
