That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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