no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
