no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
