i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
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