I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
