I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
