Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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