the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
