We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
